I've Always Been a Poet, 'Though I Didn't Always Know It Read online

I’VE ALWAYS BEEN A POET,

  ‘THOUGH I DIDN’T ALWAYS KNOW IT

  By

  Joshua S. Friedman

  ****

  PUBLISHED BY:

  I’ve Always Been a Poet, ‘Though I Didn’t Always Know It

  Copyright © 2013 by Joshua S. Friedman

  Thank you for downloading this book. This book remains the copyrighted property of the author and may not be reproduced, scanned, or distributed for any commercial or non-commercial use without permission from the author.

  Your support and respect for the property of this author is appreciated.

  All poems, songs, and blogs are the sole property of Joshua S. Friedman and may not be reproduced in any way.

  Adult Reading Material

  ****

  For Jared

  The only real poet I know

  ****

  I

  THE PERENNIAL OPTIMIST

  WE RIDE

  So…

  Ye think thee nobler men then we?

  Ye think thee safe high in thy ivory towers?

  Pish-posh!

  I think thee protestith too much

  For while you’ve been soiling yourselves in rubbish

  Mine and my Cree have bathed in the crucibles of holy fire

  We’ve been sharpening our blades and knocking our bows

  Domesticating the local wild-life to the breast of our yoke

  We do not simper away and cry

  We do not die

  We ride! We crush!

  We ride! We crush! (Shh)

  Ha-Za!

  It seems there be spirit in you after all

  We shall see how much lingers after the running through of long spears

  Does’t the lion lay down with the antelope?

  No, it devours its prey and leaves the pickings for ravenous scavenger birds

  So too shall we strike’st at thy heart with voracious instinct

  We too shall pick our mighty teeth with ye’r tiny insignificant bones

  We plunder without mercy

  We make the sun grow dim

  We eat the brains of cannibals

  And we ride on the hide of the wind

  We ride! We crush!

  We ride! We crush!

  All right boys, let us show them how we crush

  THE ONLY THING I KNOW FOR SURE

  The only thing I know for sure is that I know absolutely nothing. But hell, 86% of the population doesn't know anything; 9 out of 17 people know this. At least, I know that I know nothing. Some people don't know they don't know anything.

  I look around, I look around,

  And I ponder where have all the role-models gone? Where have all the John Wayne's gone?

  We're so concerned with our own crap. We call them problems. But they're just privileges. I've seen real problems. And I count my lucky stars that I have none.

  Some say, ignorance is bliss.

  But I say ignorance is a way for the surreptitious to take that which they have not earned.

  I'm reminded of when thieves were alleviated of their sinful appendages. Now, I see a time where some need to steal just to survive.

  Is that right? Is anything we know ever been right?

  I've read of when, each season, Babylonian women sacrificed a man by burning him alive. According to history, such practices were performed to appease the gods and yield good crops. Apparently a matriarchal society is as ruthless as our traditional patriarchs. Perhaps, more so. In Africa, most of the females of each species are bigger than the males. This is so the males don't eat the young. Except, instead of an adult predator trimming the weak from the herd, mammoth females kill other matured adults and feed the spoils to their young.

  Which is worse?

  Does it matter?

  I've read of a time, where, if you hurt, trimmed, or chopped down a tree (without permission from the gods), Pagans carved out your naval, nailed it the offended conifer, and forced you to circumnavigate the trunk until all your intestines firmly wrapped around the bark.

  Imagine if we lived back then.

  There'd be no paper; among many other things.

  Do I wish we still lived in a matriarchal society?

  I don't know I'm just glad we're not sacrificing people to phony-baloney gods in the hopes of a prolific harvest.

  Do I wish we still lived in a time where defacing Mother Nature was a capital offense?

  I don't know, but it would sure be great if we stopped ravaging our own natural resources in the name of progress.

  What progress?

  What have we really achieved in the last thirty years? Century?

  Most people seem so sure that the world will end any day now. Y2K. SARS. 12/21/12. What a joke that was. People, the Mayans never said that was when the Rapture would happen. That's just when they stopped calendaring. And the Mayan calendar was based on a ten-month-scale, not twelve; meaning the end-of-days would have happened well-before 12/21/12.

  Still, we plod on.

  Now, pundits say that things in the Middle East are escalating just as things did back in August of 1914; right before WW1

  Day-by-day, things get worse.

  Zealots proclaim the impending return of the One True Savior.

  Atheists say, "Naw, don't worry about. Such is the way of things."

  Are we tottering on the precipice of Doomsday?

  Or, will the night grow incipiently darker before a long-awaited dawn?

  I don't know.

  But at least, I know that I don't know.

  And I thank God for that.

  CHAKRAS

  Feel the movements

  Current, nature

  Down to roots

  Earth and liquid

  All is one

  All is nature

  Feel the spiral

  Feel and capture

  To the heavens

  To the end

  The road at hand has turned up-end

  Heat, movement, pulse

  Ultra-violent, ultra sense

  One with all, this mantra blessed

  Time stands still

  Time is fast

  The season’s clock

  Charts the map

  The road is hard

  The road is long

  But all straight paths shall lead to one

  Between the schism

  And under shell

  Follow your heart

  You shall not fail

  Feel, live, sense

  The sun god loves his occupants

  As mother shines her smile dear

  Without change, no life stirs here

  Flow

  Steady

  Constant stream

  Grounded force and centered means

  All that exists shall transcend

  Into the heavens

  Into the end

  To join it all

  And live again

  LETTERS AT 3 AM

  You once gave me a book to read

  Said, you saw it and it was me

  I gave it a whirl

  But I couldn’t keep my promise

  That I would

  Stay away from her

  So far, so good

  But, for how long?

  Little by little

  Unraveled

  You tug at the strings

  As I pull away

  You mocked and goaded me

  Said it the best thing for me

  Who knew the worst was yet to come?

  I promised I’d stay sober

  But I knew all
that was over

  When I found the note on my front door

  It read, “You call yourself my friend,

  “But what do you really know of it?

  “I turn around and you’re never there.”

  Oh, I chased after you

  This is our love song

  Looking back, I know I got it all wrong

  What do you expect to hear from me?

  That I ain’t already said

  I walk in the door

  And I’m filled with dread

  I know that I should be sorry

  I know that I got it wrong

  I’m all fucked up

  But I’m getting strong

  When you said you were leaving

  I begged and I pleaded

  But I never once asked you to stay

  It’s getting late in the morning

  And this story’s boring

  But I keep coming back

  Again and again

  To words, printed ink-jet

  You hadn’t the heart just to write it

  I’m confused

  And my mind is torn

  My heart’s palpitating

  In mode self-loathing, hating

  I found a note pinned to my door

  It read, “You think nothing of me,

  “So, I’m absconding,

  “Never again

  “Are you welcome here

  “You chose her over me

  “And ‘though you at my wedding

  “I thought you far better than that

  “But what do you really know of it?

  “I turn around and you’re never there.”

  Oh, I chased after you

  This is our love song

  Looking back, I know I got it all wrong

  What do you expect to hear from me?

  That I ain’t already said

  I walk in the door

  And my heart stops dead

  Yes, it’s been a while

  But we can still work it out

  I’m all fucked up

  But still not checking out

  Oh, I chased after you

  This is our love song

  Looking back, I know I got it all wrong

  Yes, I chose her over you

  But you don’t really care

  ‘Cause we’re not friends anymore

  You chastised and scolded me

  What more do you expect to hear from me?

  When I’ve been forgiven by

  Everyone else

  In liquor sinking

  My breath is weakening

  I pull out a note

  Faded and torn

  Malignancy worsening

  Yet, my heart is yearning

  To settle un-settled scores

  The page read, “You call yourself my friend,”

  But what do you really know of it?

  I turn around and you’re never there?”

  Oh, I chased after you

  This is our love song

  Looking back, I know I got it all wrong

  What do you expect to hear from me?

  That I ain’t already said

  I walk in the door

  And I’m filled with dread

  I know that I should be sorry

  I know that I got it wrong

  I’m all fucked up

  But I’m getting strong

  Am I stained, am I frayed?

  Why don’t you just stay away?

  You keep coming back

  Well, what have you learned?

  Am I cursed, a puppet?

  Put me in my place

  I can’t forget

  The daggers in your ink hurt more than words

  Still you refuse to speak

  What do you expect to hear from me?

  That I ain’t already said

  You walk in the door

  And I’m filled with dread

  I know that I should be sorry

  I know that I got it wrong

  It’s so fucked up

  But, this is our song

  SUCH A FINE EVENING FOR DINING OUTDOORS

  The moment is twilight

  Skies purple and orange

  Such a fine evening

  For dining outdoors

  A crease in the tail-hitch

  A creak in the door

  She’s cooking up porridge

  Sepia toned

  I take a whiff

  And it takes me back

  To fading days

  Rusty hooks, laundry clips

  Tumble weeds graze

  Over desolate plains

  This is the hand that I’ve been dealt

  Abandoned dirt streets

  Plank-covered fissures

  Dandelions weep

  Barren wood sheds

  The skulls our fathers heap

  Mining through salt-stone

  In unrelenting heat

  But this is our lot

  Lest we like it or not

  Time, it goes by

  The seasons they keep

  Such a fine record

  Of all that we reap

  And in a moment

  An instant does flash

  In one you’re born

  Another you’re ash

  The pyre in my soul

  I kindle and keep

  A constant watch-guard

  ‘Gainst ubiquitous sleep

  ‘Fore it’s such a fine evening

  For dining outdoors

  Mmmm-Mmm-Mm-Mmmmmmm

  The compass turns rusty

  Corroded with age

  Decrepit, un-trusty

  We stray on our own way

  And soon the road forkens

  This or that way

  Either path chosen

  Ends up the same

  Come Hell or high it’s such a fine night

  For dining outdoors

  My last breath spoken

  Uttered in rage

  Already forgotten

  Already regretted

  My journey’s over, here do I lay

  My spirit pass over desolate plains

  Time washes over decaying remains

  The moment is twilight

  Skies sepia toned

  She’s cooking up porridge

  T’is such a fine evening

  For dining outdoors

  A crease in the tail-hitch

  A creak in the door

  T’is such a fine evening for dying outdoors

  IN DREAMS

  Come here my child and I shall tell you a tale

  I’ve been noticing lately you’ve gotten quite pale

  And your eyes are black, darkened with rings

  Are you having trouble sleeping?

  Tell me your dreams

  I remember a time when I was about just your age

  And my father told me the same thing I’m saying

  I was having the same plight

  Of that you must know

  When you’re alone in the dark, and things seethe and grow

  It’s a demon, a wraith, an apparition unseen

  It comes as a nightmare, plaguing your dreams

  With cold hands upon you this phantom does thrive

  It feasts on your terror

  This thing is alive

  And my father told me the same thing I’m saying

  Just call me in dreams and fast I’ll come runnin’

  But how can I call you?

  I asked in a stutter

  If I am asleep, ensconced deep in horror

  Just call out in dreams

  Call out like your screaming

  Just call my name out

  And no matter what dream I’m having

  Believe me, I’ll hear ya

  I will, I chirped merrily

  Then hopped off to bed

  To be tucked in by mother

  Who kissed me gently on the forehead

  I awoke in my dreams
/>   Alone in the house

  It was Saturday morning

  There was no one about

  I inched into the hall, across just the way

  From a shadowy bathroom doorway

  Where a creature did linger

  To steal me away

  I shrieked and ran down the stairs and into the kitchen

  All the while the monster gave chase

  I called out his name

  And as good as his promise, my father then came

  He battled the beastie he came to engage

  They wrestled and fought

  Vanishing into a darkened archway

  Then only my father remained

  I awoke the next morning in such splendor, such glee

  Then never again was I terrorized

  By such ghastly nightmarish beings

  So the very next time should your dreams cloud in fear

  Just call out my name

  And in dreams I’ll appear

  Under my watch no monsters shall bite

  I love you my child

  Now, good night and sleep tight

  THE MARINER

  The wind cools my sun-tanned face

  Ocean blue surrounds me

  Hoist the sails and pull up anchor

  The tides and waves will guide us

  Hands calloused rough from rope burns

  Sea-salt in my veins

  I journey on in wonder

  Across aquatic planes

  What is this before me?

  Yonder rolling waves

  I go against the current

  Spit in Neptune’s face

  I tempt the fates with mutiny

  Here comes the albatross

  The clouds loom on in anger

  So falls the albatross

  The waves they thunder and roll

  The ship has lost all control

  We’re heading straight for the storm

  Capsizing

  The gales they billow and blow

  The anchor’s broke like a bone

  The storm has taken its toll

  Capsizing

  The sails, they tangle and rip

  Against wind like a whip

  Men have jumped in, adrift

  Capsizing

  Submersed deep in the cold

  The seas have swallowed me whole

  No breath, my lungs burn like coal

  Capsizing

  Capsizing

  Poseidon settles to slumber