I've Always Been a Poet, 'Though I Didn't Always Know It Read online

  Gulls flock as skies grow clear

  Baleen bars encage me

  Seaweed clots my veins

  Bound by leagues of pressure

  The bends upon me brains

  Seahorses’ coralled wonders

  Plankton and watery graves

  Locked up with Davey Johns, tangled in the reef

  Ship wreckage built this prison

  Deep beneath the rip

  WE WILDLINGS

  We merry few

  We band of brothers

  We plunderers and naïfs

  We’ve gazed from tall peaks and wondered

  What’s our new campaign?

  We ride the wind

  We crush, and kill

  We slake ‘till bellies full

  We break the wind

  We crush, and pillage

  We take from foreign soils

  We wild things

  We bestial thieves

  We conquering devourers

  We’ve marched on bones, taken spoils

  We’ve violated temples

  We rape the wind

  We crush, and kill

  We’re marauding avengers

  We tame the wind

  We crush, and pillage

  We’ve seized the throne from Caesar

  We cannibals

  We n’ere-do-wells

  We un-adulterated fodder

  We’ve sucked the marrow from our foes

  We’re poisoning the udders

  We halt the wind

  We crush, and sin

  We are such ghastly beings

  Masticating

  Intoxicating

  We are the wildlings

  THE GAMBLER

  Can’t shake the shakes

  I roll the dice and I feel my boots quake

  Oh-oh-ooh-oh-ooh-ooh

  I taste the taste

  And I want more, but I don’t know why

  No-no-wha-ooh-oh-ooh-ooh

  Enough never seems that much

  Until you really got enough

  To bet it all on red or black

  Then you’re more in the hole

  Than you could ever know

  And a wall’s pressed to your back

  Throw in your cards

  Stroll from the table

  There goes forth, walks the gambler

  He strut’s the strut

  But, left his ace at home

  Uh-o-wha-ooh-oh-ooh-uhh

  He takes the take

  I got a straight

  Bet so do you-oh-oo-ooh-woo-woo-woo

  Enough never seems that much

  Until you really got enough

  To bet it all on red or black

  Then you’re more in the hole

  Than you could ever know

  And a wall’s pressed to your back

  Throw in your cards

  Stroll from the table

  There goes forth, walks the gambler

  Yeeee!

  Walk on!

  He flops the nut

  But I got a suicide king

  A-ring-a-ding-ding-ring-a-ding-ooh

  All in or bust

  He grins a grin that I don’t trust

  No-no-ooh-oh-ooh-ooh

  Enough never seems that much

  Until you’ve got a royal flush

  And bet it all on just one hand

  Then you will understand

  What really breaks a man

  Is pride

  Not money or lust

  Enough never seems that much

  Until you really got enough

  To bet it all on red or black

  Then you’re more in the hole

  Than you could ever know

  And a wall’s pressed to your back

  Throw in your cards

  Stroll from the table

  There goes forth, walks the gambler

  Throw in your cards

  Stroll from the table

  There goes forth, walks the gambler

  I’d bet it all

  That’s the gambler

  THE HOUSE THAT MAD BUILT

  I once dreamed I was lost

  And lost, I came upon the castle

  And inside the castle, was a festering cesspool of life

  And within that life, creatures began to churn

  In disbelief, I rubbed my eyes and looked again

  I entered with the utmost of trepidation

  The foyer was a multi-platformed lobby

  Slot-machines all stacked in neat lines and rows

  People littered the place

  ‘Though few of them played

  Most just kept on their wheelings and dealings

  Comings and goings

  I felt lost among them and yet, right at home

  They wanted me to work here, live here, be here

  Against fierce protests and better judgment, I went to work

  Work for the castle, work for the home

  I traversed through the mansion

  Clambering to the tops of tall peaks

  Going room by room by room

  As I made my rounds of maintenance

  Walking eternally

  I crossed cold cobblestones and mortar

  Feeling blindly along my way

  There was a white, three-eyed turtle

  White as snow with tiny sparkling flecks

  That glistened like diamond gems

  And the turtle spoke to me

  Wondering, “how do you do,” and, “where are you going?”

  But his words were small and vague

  So I pressed on

  The towers were spiraling tall and wide

  Enough to blot out the sun

  And as I made my way upward

  There she was

  Her face white and pale

  Not white like snow, but something more grave

  I tried to escape

  Dashing over to an open window

  I looked down from the ledge

  Many miles below me were tall snowcapped mountain steppes

  Layered thick with fog

  I thought to myself, how can this be?

  That I am up so high now, when before me, so low?’

  I weighed out my options

  Knowing now, no way back

  So I leapt off the ledge

  I expected to get that sensation of falling

  You know, like when you descend down a roller coaster

  And you can feel those butterflies

  Fluttering and tingly all about your insides

  But that didn’t happen

  Instead, it was pleasant

  Like a kind of soft floating

  And I rushed toward the Earth

  Plummeting like a feather

  The ground came faster than expected

  And I exploded into the dirt, like a bright burning comet

  I was out, I was free

  Or so it had seemed

  Until I looked around and saw the tall fenced-in lots

  Grey concrete slabs sectioned off by cold steel

  Wire, razor barbs

  I made my way along the muddy rubbish and rubble

  Slithering like a snake, laughing as a loon

  Trailing her scent, I found my way home

  There were two fat ol’, good ol’ boys

  And I asked them, if I was on acid

  They cackled and said, “Take a look at your eyes”

  So I did

  I turned around and I could see myself

  My head a huge cartoon balloon

  My eyes big, bulging, and wild

  Spiraling orbs of yellow and blue

  The orbs turned inward

  And once again I was me

  I shut my eyes tightly, while clicking my heels

  I opened my eyes

  And again I was home

  I entered the castle

  This time the foyer was a grand ol’ appliance store

  Washers, dryers
and range stove-top hoods

  Elegantly placed out and at the ready

  Ready to buy, sell with Stockholm syndrome and bondage hardcore

  I meandered the mansion

  Clambering to the tops of tall peaks

  Going from room to room to room

  Now I know I am home here

  In this castle, tall

  I live here, I work here

  And God willing, I’ll die here

  I’m stuck here, trapped

  As I roam listlessly down the halls

  Going room by room by room

  I feel right at home here

  This is my home

  This is my home

  This is my…

  II

  INNER COSMIC ERUDITION

  IN THE PRESENCE OF THE GREAT B(looming) SHROOM

  I’ve sat here, sat here sitting for quite some time now. Perched. Perched and set for some time, indeed. Just waiting. Waiting with nothing else to do but make useless conversations with myself and the others. My friends. Yes, I can see it all so clearly now. Can see them so clearly now. There they are, perched and set. Old Tim Leary and Hunter S, ensnared within the cross stitching of my living room couch. Yes, yes, and Lazlo, he’s there, too. Oh yes, I can see it all through the bombastic borealis of light and color. The room has begun blooming like a fiery jungle flower. The walls, ceiling, and floor flow in rhythmic waves. Blooming. Blooming. Not sure, maybe just my narcissism, but could it be looming? I hear voices all around me. Spots of light in the peripherals of my hindsight that always seem to disappear suspiciously when searched for. Narcissism. Narcissism, I say. Getting ready now, ready for self-realization. Can the seductiveness of inner-vision be made possible under such looming? This looming. This humungous fucking shroom. Narcissism. Oh well, smoke another. Smoke another and get ready to find yourself within yourself. But still, always looming…looming…looming…

  UNDONE

  The terror is quiet clear

  I’m trapped in this nightmare

  And I’m not waking up this time

  So lost and all alone

  The isolation’s taken hold

  It’s wrapped around my mind

  And I feel I’m shaking violently

  It’s time

  Alive

  Please hole me

  I feel like I could die

  I writhe

  Deep inside

  Please hold me before I come undone

  All this time

  I felt this hunger uncontrollably

  Teeth inside my maw

  Begin to drip and salivate

  Skin is shedding, ripping, tearing

  And I can’t see

  What I have become

  And what will become of me

  Phasing

  Once again

  Please hold me

  I feel like I can’t stand

  To breathe the air around me

  This change is so unique

  Fallen

  All alone

  Please hold me before I lose control

  I feel this change coursing through me

  Shifting just beneath my skin

  You call my name three times to challenge the monster

  And still, I feel the man inside fading further still

  Fading

  Once again

  Please hold me

  I feel the walls are caving in

  Transcend to the end

  Please hold on tightly

  I’m falling yet again

  Deep inside, within

  This endless dream sequence

  So solemn

  All alone

  Please hold me before I lose control

  Run away before I lose control

  So solemn and alone here in the dark

  Broken down and desperate

  I feel that from here there’s just no going on

  I’m so lost without you

  Now here I stand

  So broken hearted

  It all fell apart

  Just like wilting flowers

  Now I think I know

  Just what I’ve become

  Please hold me

  I fear I’ve come un…

  DEPRESSION IN D MINOR

  Depressed here

  Slinking low

  As a scolded child

  My dove says

  She doesn't care

  What I need or want

  Brooding here

  Stewing here

  In miasmic air

  It's a wonder

  I've not choke to death

  The garrote clinches around my neck

  Dead-man walking here

  I fell as low as bed-bugs

  Beneath the furniture

  What does love want?

  I don't know

  And still pondering

  Cerebrating

  Lucubrating

  Self-inquiring

  In drug dreams dreary

  I've walked among the dead

  I felt more welcomed there

  Than I do here

  Don't admire this

  No admonishments

  There's no beauty here

  Death is not a doorway

  Just a prison cell

  Erudition

  Navigation

  Lost among gales

  Across tides

  Pitch as black

  Circumnavigating Hell

  Depressed here

  And thusly here

  I spun a gossamer shell

  One day to emerge

  And gorge upon myself

  RHYME TIME (Pt. 1)

  Seven-six-three

  The goose drank anti-freeze

  The monkey hung himself

  From a great, big maple-tree

  The branch broke

  That monkey done choked

  And they all went to Hell

  In a little row-boat

  THE FLY

  Well, all right now -- Yeah!

  I am a fly, I am a fly

  I feast on rotting shit

  I am alive ‘though not inside

  And I’m all right with it

  I am a fly up in the sky so high I cannot touch the ground

  I am alive although I’ll die one day and decompose back in the ground

  Festering with worms in holes and baby, so will you

  So come dance the dance while you still can because you know it’s true

  I am the grass, I am the stone, I am your grandpa’s rotting bones

  I am remised, I am denied, I am the ancient wheel of time

  ‘Cause if everything is, then simply everything is

  And there ain’t no way gettin’ round all this

  So don’t waste your life on remedial strives

  When there ain’t no time to procrastinate -- but I deviate!

  I am a fly upon your eye you try to swat away

  Maggots and bones and sticks and stones, and that’s all that I have to say

  I buzz around these fecal mounds which we have claimed our own

  Lay eggs inside, and say, “Bye-bye”, and on and on I roam

  I am the dirt, I am un-birth, I am the bitter end

  I am the sun, I am the moon, I am the winter wind

  ‘Cause if everything is, then simply everything is

  And there ain’t no way gettin’ round all this

  So just pay no mind to the rot on the rind

  When there ain’t no time to hesitate -- come now elevate!

  I am a fly, I am a fly

  I live by eating death

  I bore inside and squirm with life

  And then I make you sick

  I am a fly, I am a fly

  And I don’t have a clue

  That I’m alive but not inside

  And baby, so are you

  I am the sea, I am the tides, I am the twinkling starlit skies

  I am the trees, I am the birds, I
sing the songs that go unheard

  I am the blood, I am the soul, I rest upon a broken throne

  I am disease, I am release, I am the fall of ancient Thebes

  ‘Cause if everything is, then simply everything is

  And there ain’t no way gettin’ round all this

  So just live your life the way it was designed

  And don’t hesitate…

  ‘Cause if everything is, then simply everything is

  And there ain’t no way gettin’ round all this

  So don’t waste your life on remedial strives

  When there ain’t no time to procrastinate

  ‘Cause there ain’t no time to procrastinate

  No, there ain’t no time to procrastinate -- but I deviate!

  SONIC DEATH RIDE

  Supersonic death ride

  Hydraulic chronic tastes fine

  Megalithic pillars in the sky

  It’s a pocket rocket test drive

  Constellations rise in these widened eyes

  Flowing faster through all space and time

  Terrestrial movement in astral disguise

  It’s a supersonic death ride!

  Supersonic death ride

  Flows tonic like wine

  Corporal form, no! Never mind

  Time to kick this into hyper-drive

  Solar, solo on a perma-trip

  Ain’t never gonna come back from this

  Flying high, acid skies materialize

  It’s a supersonic death ride!

  I can see forever and beyond, all at once

  And it was me

  Looking down upon all the universe

  With gripping feats of astronomity

  Dimensions shutter and open deep within my mind

  It’s a supersonic megalithic death ride!

  WELCOME TO THE WARD (SHOCK THERAPY)

  These manic thoughts will not mend

  Desperately clinging to the cornerstone

  This passion, depression flows to no end

  Feeding off of the undertow

  Heeding to the voices not of my own

  This grudge beckoning from deep inside of me

  Unraveling all sense of self

  Sanity, patience bores me so to death

  Paranoid, bewildering

  Welcome me home

  Tedious work this race of shit

  Followed through with lack of heart

  Clones of drones

  I cannot live my life like this

  Wouldn’t you like to feel better?

  Feel something, even for a little while